Jog

Everything has been quite a storm that barged into my life lately, and I feel very out of place. It's true that Rome wasn't built in a day but these chaos wiped all my fences gone.

God, why is Ed Sheeran playing while I'm writing this?

Honestly, I feel very numb. I can't differentiate between being happy or sad, sometimes I'm up watching the fireworks on Everest and a blink of eye later, I am stranded after being pushed down a cliff. Everything that revolves in my life seems mad and I can't join the dots to any of them, but they say that in this world, the mad people are sane, so I conclude that I am the 'okay'est person on the planet. In my universe, at least.

I used to dislike Lang Leav. One minus point for her expensive books that I can finish after an hour in the bookstore while waiting for Ma to finish her shopping spree, and I am fine with expensive books, like R.M.Drake's, but not when it only has 200-300+ pages. Another minus point for her proses and poems that only circulates in one idea; love. She is a good writer, and I am anticipated in reading her works, but the hype will be gone after 20 pages. An unpopular opinion of mine, there are other feelings in the world. Anxious, angry, bored, lazy, curious, sad, sick, crazy, lost, not feeling anything. Why not make a masterpiece by combining them all. I even have a poem about the pain of a mosquito bite. No kidding.

But yesterday, I don't know whose novel did it belong to, but it has been residing at the bookshelf for quite some time, with thick dust covering it. I was trying to distract myself, so I pulled it out. It was The Universe Of Us from Leav. I read it anyway, and I was shocked, because it felt that all the words that she penned on the paper shot me like bullets to my chest. I felt it was written for me, or the exact feeling, as if I was the one that wrote it. That is the power of poets. They make you feel less alone when they convey their hearts out. Not all, but there may be a few stanzas that they described perfectly that you wish you can write the same. Wish you can tell the same.

I also went for a jog, after months of not doing so. The usual pain came, but I ran anyway, knowing that it will ease after all. I wished every step that I ran to all the doubts and problems that I have, hoping that I could leave them behind. I didn't know what will that has pushed me, but I managed to run a round of TASA. Believe me, this was my first. Am I reliving memories? I don't know. I just keep running.

When there's a will, there's a way, and God, please show me one.