Drown

i am asking myself

over and over again while

cringing under the shower

downpour at 1 am

"what did i do wrong?"

replaying like a mixtape

i feel like banging my own head

to the checkered walls so that

I don't have to remember any of 

these again.

i am grasping for air 

while my own lies drown my 

face into a basin of truth

but please,

i plead,

push my head deeper

until my heart sinks

so it doesn't have to feel the pain

as it shatter due to the vows you

never promised.

don't pull my strands of hair to

pull my head

please don't save me,

i beg.

i don't want to rest my temples

at the edge with bloodshot

eyes and dry myself with a towel

and strut out looking just fine.

Please,

leave me.