Wednesday, 30 October 2019

(Me, Trying To Be In Your Shoes)

20:03:00
I am afraid of heights but thinking of you makes me want to jump from the highest building to make up the courage to follow you on Instagram I loathe reading but talking to you makes me read dictionaries from cover to cover all editions of thesaurus compiling lists of metaphors just for me to end up...
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Tuesday, 22 October 2019

Promise

07:48:00
"Promise that you won't leave me", I said multiple times as my cheeks were drenched in tears.  He firmly reassures without hesitation every time I ask him and hugged me tighter, more and more, and let all my sorrows be buried with my face in his chest.&nbs...
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Saturday, 28 September 2019

Afterglow

09:12:00
I have not been feeling myself lately with the massive workload that I have, from assignments to handling events with SHINE; I am exhausted.     My mood swings become unpredictable too, and everyone is affected by it; my mom, Amir, everyone. I remember that I had dinner with Amir a few...
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Thursday, 19 September 2019

Camera

08:29:00
I lent Amir's camera for a tutorial class the other day. Mind you, I am a total noob, the DSLR camera is alien to me. "Okay, so how does this work?", I asked as soon as I got the camera on my hands when I picked it up from Amir's workplace. "You turn it on, and you press this button to take pictures.",...
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Thursday, 12 September 2019

Conversation with Amir: Iman

07:57:00
“I saw a lot of Tweets testing religion beliefs or things that are associated with religion, and it got me so confused. It’s not that I believe them, but sometimes I do feel that what they are saying makes sense. It is scary.” “Sebab tu kita kena beriman” “Meaning?” “You do know rukun iman,...
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Monday, 2 September 2019

Every Time We Hold Hands

07:06:00
every time we hold hands i will always be taken into a different dimension we are walking on the zebra crossing but the pebbled stripes change into shiny wooden floors the pedestrians bow to each other your red sweater changes into a tuxedo and my headscarf turns into an embroidered veil the traffic...
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Train Ride: Updated

06:46:00
the sun kisses my face  as you kiss my cheek  with one of my legs on  your lap  you will make sure that you won’t glitch  and your hands- please ask it to behave  from scratching my thighs to holding my hands to hugging my waist sharing earphones  you don’t...
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Sunday, 28 July 2019

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Amir's 24th Birthday Poem

08:06:00
you are a breathe of fresh air after days of fuzzy hurricanes like a meadow field your touch is warm as i lie down on a sunny day  -fuck, i can’t finish this.  there have been many attempts of me trying to write a poem for you, giving justice to all the men that I have praised and...
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Sakit

07:56:00
kita rupanya sama sahaja. mencurahkan segala warna hati di atas mukasurat kosong ini dan aku bagaikan menyentuh bekas luka lama tatkala membaca setiap bait kata-kata yang tak terungkapkan ah, sakit. terasa ngilunya. mungkin harus saja ia hanya untuk ditulis kerana setiap ayatnya sudah menghiris...
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Tuesday, 18 June 2019

"I don't know"

20:01:00
the sky that i brushed run out of paint the house that we built with a wide lawn for your garage toppled a tsunami hit our convertible as we leisurely drive at the beachside my wedding dress was torn at the edges i walked down an aisle with a burnt, worn, rug  i see my future fall into shambles and...
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Thursday, 6 June 2019

Is It Wrong

09:13:00
is it wrong if I don’t wanna be alone  and ring up your phone is it wrong if I get out of my blanket finally want to breathe again is it wrong if I wanna open the curtains and let the sunlight in is it wrong if I find a reason to live again  I wanna have a night drive through the...
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Tuesday, 28 May 2019

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Sunday, 26 May 2019

Mood Swings

08:53:00
psychologists say that if you're experiencing mood swings for no reason it means that you're missing somebody, but i am nobody to you. i am not upset that you're gone, i am way past that but i am afraid of you being around; it seems like my past is breathing down my neck and reminding me about the...
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Monday, 20 May 2019

The Night of The Nineteenth

08:47:00
Amir took me out for a birthday dinner at Chili's, my favourite Mexican/Western restaurant. It has been months since I have been there, probably the last time would be the end of last year. I was surprised to see the restaurant interior lighted up instead of having dim lights, enough for the cosy vibe. I...
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Wednesday, 15 May 2019

City Lights

08:58:00
"It would be fun to do stargazing kan, sayang?" We were walking towards the Sandy carpark from a convenience store nearby to get Amir's daily dose of coffee. He was always more hyped than me but I think he surpasses my nap quotas in Ramadhan. He cannot live without his coffee, let it be anything,...
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Monday, 29 April 2019

Teenagers

00:25:00
I was having lunch with Amir at Jibril. Apparently, the underground restaurant was not packed for a Monday lunch hour. There were some crowd hogging our space but we were still able to breathe while exchanging drinks and stories. Amir was determined to order the Couple Set because the last time we went...
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Sunday, 14 April 2019

Lipstick Stain

09:58:00
i’m sorry that i’m not sorry with the champagne  pink smudges  like two glasses of liquor you clinked your nose to my cheeks cheers  for everlasting  love i have a bad habit of leaving marks on people’s lives i would purposely  misplace things in their cars leave...
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Thursday, 11 April 2019

Talk

09:16:00
"How was class baby?" Amir texted me as soon as I finished all my classes for the day. I was stretching my body on a counter chair at Starbucks and keeping myself awake since I want to finish my in-class assignments for Online Journalism while waiting for the traffic jam to die down. "It was fine sayang",...
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Tuesday, 9 April 2019

After A While

07:41:00
After a while I have realised that love does not hide our dictionaries and steal our vocabularies  as we stutter through the 8 letters if anything, love is a 7th Grade  English teacher that would encourage you to read on  extracts and passages from your heart in front of...
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Sunday, 24 March 2019

Self-Love

09:33:00
Despite being controversial as a person, I still binge to Melanie Martinez's Crybaby album because it relates to me in so many levels. I'm not supporting her but good songs are good songs and good art should be celebrated. I'm just doing it some justice.  I hate being attached to people. I would...
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Wednesday, 20 March 2019

Kediaman

08:26:00
tak semua yang kau inginkan akan terdapatkan, namun kau pasti dapat apa yang kau perlukan. dan sepertinya Tuhan mengatur pencarian ini dengan syarat klasik; usaha, ikhtiar, dan tawakal. tubuhku lunyai dan hatiku hancur saat akhirnya bertemu kamu, dan kau lenyapkan semua bisa sakit itu sehingga aku...
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Titik

08:19:00
bilamana dugaan menguji kuatku untuk bertahan dan setiamu tidak terkorban walau masa silam menumpang lalu. kuatkah aku? atau kekuatan ini hanya cukup untuk membenteng diri dari terlecurnya kulit merasa bahang neraka manusia yang mempersetankan ketulusan syurgawi perasaan ini teguhkah setiamu? atau...
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Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Forever's Not Our Thing

23:06:00
I was reading Tujuh Tahun Tujuh Hari that I just bought from the Lejen bookstore across the street after dinner earlier in the dimlight until I received his text at around 1am. "Maleen, you still up?" After a long, long, time, I say. "Yeah, why?" He sent me a picture of him watching The Fault...
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Thursday, 7 February 2019

Rezeki

09:34:00
I just wished Amir goodnight before writing this. It is a rare occasion for him to sign off before me, but there are days when we are extra tired than usual, and he will be working tomorrow anyways. No matter how late he sleeps, he will always be the first to wake me up. It has been a month after my...
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Tuesday, 1 January 2019

New Years' Eve

08:08:00
I always celebrate New Years' Eve quietly. I would just spend my day at home, do a quiet reflection of the whole year, write some wishes for my closed ones, and sleep in, knowing to wake up in the following year. New Years' Eve is a significant event for me, but I don't do grand celebrations or late...
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