I was having lunch with Amir at Jibril. Apparently, the underground restaurant was not packed for a Monday lunch hour. There were some crowd hogging our space but we were still able to breathe while exchanging drinks and stories. Amir was determined to order the Couple Set because the last time we went there was during our first date. I told him to order the Single Set because it's cheaper and he jokingly said, "Yeah, I know, because we're not a couple yet, right?". Good times. Time is still good as long as he is still around with his fluffy hair after washing them that are at his neck's length. It doesn't mean that I won't love him if he's bald, but......can you not distract me from the purpose of this conversation, please?

We were casually talking while struggling to finish each other's portions on our plates. We came across a topic on how he draws the line by not lashing out to his mother. When he stopped there, I could not finish chewing and I felt guilty. I am used to lash out at my mom when she is shouting at me unnecessarily, but I am trying so hard to ignore her whenever she does that as I get older. Since Amir is around, my mom would always use Amir as a bait whenever she thinks I'm disrespectful when I think I'm not because that is how I talk to people in general. She will go, "Nanti kalau Amir dengar, Amir suka ke?" "Kalau Amir ada dekat sini, dia suka tak?"

My mom was right. He doesn't.

I confessed to him on how I am still struggling on my anger management. He kept quiet, he listened but he didn't judge. He never does. He gave me an emphatic look, trying to understand what was in my head. Probably he did, but he still listened anyways while slowly caressing my cheeks. That is the comfort of talking to Amir.  I may have done shitload tons of things before and in the present but he always wants to understand from my point of view.  He is like my safe haven that I can be vulnerable with.

I think the prominent reason on why he chose to take a step back instead of starting a four-hour lecture on manners with me instead is because I am a teenager. Not saying that teenagers have the excuse to be rude, but mainly because we don't really realise how we act sometimes. He is an adult, been through the phases that I am going through hence that was how he understood. Maybe, that was why he was so calm whenever I tell him my teen tales, because he has gone through the same thing and probably had reacted the same. He always tells me that he wants to protect me from the things that he has seen in this world, but attacking or verbally lashing out at me were never his options when he wants to teach and tell me that I am wrong, or I was wrong before.

After lunch, we went straight to the bus stop at the LRT station because Amir needed to head straight back to work. I looked at him while he was looking through his phone, feeling grateful. The littlest things that we found on our discoveries of each other along the way makes me appreciate him more and more each day.

Xx,
M.

"How was class baby?" Amir texted me as soon as I finished all my classes for the day. I was stretching my body on a counter chair at Starbucks and keeping myself awake since I want to finish my in-class assignments for Online Journalism while waiting for the traffic jam to die down.

"It was fine sayang", I answered briefly. There was nothing much that happened during the day other than having two lectures and two in-class assignments. The mediocre Communication student life I would say; writing and brainstorming all day long. Nothing interesting for me to tell him. He was my senior anyway, he had been through this too.

My phone beeped again. Expecting an "Okayyy" or shifting the conversation to a new topic, Amir said,

"Fine je babyyyy?"

Oh wow, this is new to me. I would not say that guys hate to listen to our rants but most of the time they are forced to listen. This is the first time that I was asked to elaborate more about my day although it's plain and unseasoned. I continued to talk about the in-class assignments that I had and my attempt on completing it before we go for dinner together. It speaks a lot on how he genuinely cares about my wellbeing in general and makes me feel loved.

We always overlook on the importance of asking people how their day went and just let them talk about it. It may look simple because we usually use it for conversation starters all the time but it does help a lot especially to check on our loved ones. It helps to uplift their spirits after going through the same thing over and over again every single day, and calm them down and give them an outlet to vent when they are having a rough one. The key point here is to just listen with empathy and compassion.

This act of Amir may look small, but I am definitely taking note and giving him credit on how he always reminds me of the values in life that I may overlook on how big the role is in our lives. I am happy that I have a partner that would always let me talk, and I hope that the ample space given by him will not make me selfish to also give him an outlet to speak up too.

So, how are you? Let's talk!

Xx,
M.