"I don't know"
Bravest Everything
20:01:00
the sky that i brushed run out of paint
the house that we built with a wide lawn for your garage toppled
a tsunami hit our convertible as we leisurely drive at the beachside
my wedding dress was torn at the edges
i walked down an aisle with a burnt, worn, rug
i see my future fall into shambles
and forever
is never
i swallowed the thorns of reality down my throat
so that i will never speak about it
or anything that i believe
ever again
i am no psychic
nor a scientist to engineer time travel
but i never asked for these predictions to warn me in my sleep
and for them to all be right
i saw you left me that night
i have already cried and begged for you to stay,
a trial and error that never succeeds anyway
because i am a slow learner and i cannot pick up new tactics easily
probably i have been cursed
that separations and me are inevitable
i thought i broke the spell when your lips interlocked with mine
but
even if i am close to you like the gaps between each finger
that was sealed when they were intertwined with mine
when you hold it tight to cross the road
you will let it go when there are no more cars passing by
and chasing you to the other side is
like a heaven's reach
and
i hope that a car will drift out of nowhere
because even if the streets are empty
you have already become the death of me
-but i want you to live.
you don't have to tell me anything on what
is in your heart, love,
i have been knew.
i have lived in one of the rooms
with pictures of her on the walls
brushed my hair with her comb
and snuggled up to sleep with her blanket
just as the same as how both of you
used to tuck in after a long day
as much as i want to
change the pattern of the bedsheet
rearrange the dresser
declutter the wardrobe
it always looked the same,
love.
it always looked like love,
but one that was never meant
for me.
