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            Exam has ended and took all my beauty sleeps with it,so I just have the mood of writing something heavy.
            I am more than grateful to be brought up in a family that has awareness towards the importance of religion and seeing each of my family member changing towards the better becomes a motivation to do the same.Seeing my 60+ year old grandmother puasa sunat 3-4 days a week and deeply interested reading the Tafsir Quran like a storybook sometimes makes me feel ashamed of myself for not doing the same.Mom has also lengthen her headscarf and wear skinsocks.I am not always at home so I am quite late on revolving but I have noticed that these changes becoming more obvious day by day.I have also started to wear skinsocks whenever I'm out of college because I feel the comfort of wearing it.My feet is cold all the time so socks is a good alternative to overcome it.Actually,I was interested in wearing skinsocks because of this one time Mom came with a cute floral motive skinsocks.It was sooooo beautiful and she had lots of them at home,so I started to wear those until at one point I wore sandals with my bare feet,the sun rays directly shooted at my feet and I feel like my feet was burning.At that time,I thought that maybe Allah wanted to show me that covering my feet is a priority since it is actually a must to do so at the first place.I hope and I pray that this change is permanent and I'll improve time by time.Amin.
               I would like to recall a conversation that I had with a friend.A boy likes her and chased her for years but she keeps rejecting him.I asked her why,and her respond was, "He prayes five times a day.I don't like it if we're in a middle of a date and he keeps asking for excuse to pray and drags me along.",I replied, "Isn't it good to have someone that remembers God?",she simply just answered me, " I'm not like him.Yeah,you can take him instead if you want to".I was taken aback.No offense here,she is a really good friend of mine.I respect her desicions but the way she said is like I am too pious,I don't make any sins.I have soooo much to change and improve,and I sin too,in just a different way.I had hurt someone's feelings,talk about people behind their backs and so much more sins that any ordinary woman specifically,would do.
                I have so much to learn to stregthen my faith,but I believed one thing,if we are devoted to God any follow His orders,you will be safe here and hereafter.The simplest way to do that is pray.How bad,evil or cruel you may be,pray.Lost?pray.Happy?pray.Any mood and everything that you do,always remember to pray.Allah is always with you,and closer in each sujood.
                 I would like to thank every single person that took me to the right path when I was lost looking for myself.I have learnt to think,accept and forgive.I feel at home alas.Most of all,I found en route back to The Almighty,the only route that I should be walking on.
                 To you lost souls,pick up the call.Allah is waiting for you,the Most merciful.

Xx,
M.