Wednesday 22 April 2020

New Year’s Eve II

I held his face and made it closer to mine. it was one of our rough nights again, after endless cries and pouring hearts out of our ribcages for .. how many times, i don’t even remember. 

“This is exactly why I never want to lose you”, he said, while holding my hand. 

“Why?”, I asked with a raspy voice, straight out from crying. “What do you mean?”

He held his breath, trying to put his mind into words and finally said,

 “You make it so weightless” 
I whispered to him, “I want to be your safe haven”

“You have always been”

A trickle of tear fell down his eyes. “Oh god, I broke the record”

I chuckled and kissed his forehead. “I love you”, and wiped his tears.

I remembered asking him in the earlier phase of the conversation. “What are we even holding on to?”, he answered nothing. 

As the conversation grew, I realised that the thing that we held onto is only each other. We may have a thousand rough nights but we always held each other at the end, convincing ourselves that we will try, and try, and try, again. 

I will try and try and try again for you, Amir Suffian. I always will try and try and try again until we make it. We will make it.

No comments: