A day out with Cikgu

  It has been 3 months since I have seen him, and he always told me how tired he was from the excessive workload on his shoulders, and I believed him today, as he greeted me with dark circles under his eyes. I wonder how many naps did he missed.

   We (including Haziq and Uwais) went for lunch and were brought to meet his mentor at Hulu Langat. I didn't expect that we were going to stretch our legs that long but what's a day off without a journey. I was the co-pilot, sitting next to the passenger's seat. I tried as hard as I could to be talkative and pull out topics when our conversations suddenly shut down since Uwais was heavenly sleeping behind, and Haziq, I was not sure if he was awake or not, but he didn't respond nor laugh to any of our jokes, so I guess that he dozed off as well. A lot has been brought up along the way, like his plans for education, our discussion on how motivators nowadays can easily make money by making people cry during townhalls, parenting issues, good books to read, preferred choice for universities, shafla detura (because we passed by Desa Tun Razak and I started singing 'kerja rumah sudah komplit' ), and much more.

   As we reached Hulu Langat, we met his mentor, Abang Naim  and sat down for a lecture session at a cafe' nearby his office while sipping our drinks. Abang Naim  knew me from the article that I wrote that he shared on Facebook, and asked me what was my plan for the future.

" I don't know yet.", I shrugged.

"What a simple answer," ,he said. I was not sure whether it was a sarcastic remark or he was complimenting my 'short cut' answer, so I decided to justify myself.

"I was planning on venturing into journalism seriously, but I thought that taking up a business-related course would be a good idea since my parents are business oriented, Cikgu is business oriented so I can have all the help that I need"-well, to be honest, I wasn't being honest with this statement.

I absorbed a lot of things from Abang Naim, including ideas for my upcoming articles at Affinity, especially regarding how the world actually works in general. This would be a lengthy, boring post if I describe it here one by one. We talked about our (our?) potentials. Haziq is an apps developer so they discussed on how Haziq can expand his talent and all in his app development and someday, somehow we will become partners for the company, and at this legit moment, my throat went itchy and I felt I was choked. I was planning to escape from this whole chain. I am not fit by all means to contribute/partner/take over the company especially beside these freaking awesome people that's even younger than me. I don't know what I did last year when I was 16. Seriously. In my mind I was like, "Um, thank you, but is there an Uber here? I need to go away before the expectations get higher"

Suddenly, Abang Naim faced me.

I told myself, "Maleen, this is the part where you're gonna die and burn in flames. Say your last word".

He continued, "Ah, you can become-"

Before he could finish his sentence, suddenly Cikgu put down his phone on the table that he played with as Abang Naim shared his knowledge with us.

"No. I want to let her do what she wants to do", I could sense the seriousness in his voice this time.

I was starstrucked and my heart began to ache.

Even on the way home, I tried my best to let all my gratitudes out but I couldn't. When he talked to me, I couldn't lift up my face because even thinking about me makes me sad, and I believe looking at his face only will make me cry.

This person that will only burst a laughter if he reads this, is the one that will bear with me how rebellious I can get. He will never drag me to the right if I walk to the left, and picks me up when I bleed and scarred. He calls me a brat and I can be very overlyattached at times but he reads all my ramblings on Telegram and answers my doubts. He is cool with me crossing my legs everywhere-the chair, the couch, the car seat, and never complain of me being rough than any other female students in the universe, and never push me to follow his footsteps to do whatever he is doing now. Instead, he let me roam free.

I acknowledge the fact that I have failed him so many times by being his nightmare type of student

-but yet, he chose to believe in me.

I even rushed in when he sent me home because yes, he teased me by right after he left and I was unlocking the door kind of story, and I couldn't convey my biggest gratitude to him.

Today, seeing his struggle, I promised to myself that I will make him super proud of me. Anything that it takes to make his effort in raising me up alongside my parents to become a person that I am now is worth it.

-thank you for being one of the best blessings that I have in life.

(I am not sweet like this everyday you better crown me a princess for real)

Xx,
M.