Thursday, 13 July 2017

Talking To The Moon

“ Leen, look at the moon!” 

Wa exclaimed with excitement, as we mesmerize the glowing full moon that was very close to the surface of the Earth. I have always wanted to experience the night view at TASA, our sports arena, and dragging Wa along for the first try wasn’t a mistake. We sat at the benches and watched the fading orange shades of sunset at the sky changed to a dark blue hue. Suddenly, we saw the stars twinkle one by one, dispersed, decorating the sky like touching up a well-painted canvas. We couldn’t help but saying Subhanallah repeatedly as we witness The Almighty’s beautiful creations.

We lied down on the lanes of the running track with our baju kurungs, camouflaging in the dark to not get caught by any of the guards that were doing their rounds with their motorcycles. Unladylike, I know. We aimlessly stared at the sky and started looking for constellations. Wa was looking for the belt ( I can’t remember the name, I left Standard Six a long time ago) because she said it is the star to determine the direction of the Qiblat. I let her be and sink in my own thoughts.
 “ What will you do if you have the power to control time?”, Wa asked, her eyes were still wild hunting for the desired constellation.
“ I don’t know, maybe I’ll turn back time to Form 2. Life was enjoyable back then. What about you?”
   “ If I have the power to control time, I would like time to stand still at this very moment”
Yes, that’s Wa, my rough, rugged, tough best friend. We have 5 months left of sticking around and seeing each other’s faces everyday. I believe that the thought of ending school soon is heavenly, but maybe someday I’ll be waking up to the fact that I won’t be coming back here to laugh at all their jokes and live life with all these funny dramas will hit me very hard.

We went there too on the next day, and we pulled Ell along to join us. It was hilarious, because there was a car with very bright headlights were making our visions blur and lighted up the whole sports arena. We were anxious of getting caught so we tried our best to hide in between the stairing benches to avoid from being seen. It was surreal. We were like the most wanted criminals in the country and the car may be full of police officers that wanted to lock us up in jail for… what? Looking at the stars aimlessly while having deep-straight-to-the-heart conversations? But what’s high school life without any thrilling stories? At least I have things in store to tell my kids, and there are more schemes to come. Mischievious student alert!

Staring into the deep night makes me remember about James. Uh, I think I’ll just refer to him as ‘him’. When I tried to read back my post using that name, I felt disconnected with him. It feels like I am trying to replace his identity. I’m sorry Vivy, I can’t be a loyal fan.
I always refer to him as my ‘moon’ because he likes to send me black moon emojis when he wishes me good night, or when he’s being cheeky. I’m the yellow one. I know Wa and Ell don’t like it when I mention him, because maybe deep down they thought that their koala, shrek and whatever names that they call me has been snatched away from them. Ell even actually wanted a mandate, she didn’t want him to call me ‘Leen’ or even ‘Maleen’, because she calls me that. Haha. Well, I’m sorry that everyone that knows  me calls me by my own name!

Somehow, a bigger part of me wanted him to be there, stargazing too. I don’t know if he’ll enjoy it as much as I do, but he once told me that he really wanted to race at TASA’s track someday, if he was given a chance to do so. The sports arena has eased the feeling a little. I wonder how he’s doing now. I hope that he’s always fine and happy, with chicken and sports in the evening, his two favourite things. We do have some places that we wanted to go, so we can enjoy more sceneries. Now here’s the pros of being out of school. Not to forget, the long awaited roadtrip around Malaysia with my friends too! Yes guys, I’m still going. Don’t worry. I won’t be in a position to choose between you guys or him, as all of you are equally important to me. No arguing needed.

In the midst of hardwork, dramas, patching memories with friends and missing him, the stars still align to bring me peace.
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