Diary 101:Science Stream

Hi guys!Enough with sad poems so let's have a chill talk.Last Monday,my Malay teacher had this session of an introduction to Form 4 and it was VERY SCARY.TRULY SCARY.We had to do 2 ESSAYS in a couple of hours and a quarter.(Do they think that this is a marathon or something?I'm out nah uh no I'm gonna do my thang writing poems only nah uh don't try to drag me.)

After talking about the exam paper,she sat down on a chair and told us, "If you aren't capable of science stream,then don't.By being uncapable means that you can't master Maths and Science completely,so don't.Really,It'll be hard for you.I'm not asking you to go out from the school,but lower down your ego,forget about names so at least you can ace for SPM rather than having bad results",

It made me think DEEPLY.The whole world knows that I am terrible in Maths and Science is okay-okay,not the flying colours type,HOW CAN I STUDY ADDMATHS,PHYSICS AND BIO LIKE THIS?But,if I tell my mother,she will blow up and say she somehow succeeded in SPM although she failed her Physics and keep blaming her teacher for that.WELL IF I COULD I WANT TO DO THE SAME TOO BUT BLAMING PEOPLE IS NOT GOOD AND YOU WILL BLAME ME LATER ON BECAUSE OF FAILING AND ASHAMED OF OUR RELATIVES AND YOUR FRIENDS FOR MY RESULTS.THIS IS WHY WE GET STRESSED OF ASIAN MUMS AH ALL YOU PEOPLE WANT TO DO IS COMPETE LIKE A RACE FOR VARIETY HAIRED PONIES(I only said this in my head full of rainbows,I would be smacked at the face if I really tell her this).Deep in my heart I do understand her worry.She's been through a lot and she only wants to see the best of me.My mother supporting me to be a lecturer after crushing her dreams of seeing me wearing a labcoat is already heavenly.

I'm not breaking the news to my mother yet,so I contacted my teacher about this.In my life,these 2 people are enough for giving me useful or sometimes non-useful-just-general-knowledge-or-survival-kit advices.He said, "Idk.Can't tell just like that.What's your dream?What you wanna be?" YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT.Are you singing as well?Hehe.

So I explained to him from A-Z and the only thing that he replied was, "This kind of drama,you really need to tell mama".OKAY,THIS IS AN URGENT MATTER.He used to help me solve my problems ALONE.He used to be Iron Man.USED TO.

So,I began to search about which stream should I take and I found this blog from Cikgu Halimi and he gave a few tips on how to decide.In the end,I need to turn to God for everything in this world.From the God we came,to the God we return.

So that's my dilemma.If you have yours to share,you know where to find me!

Xx,

M.