Illness

i ate chocolate wafers and pints of caramel ice-cream
i was sugar deprived
my brain froze
had a hangover the next morning
like bottles of alcohol
i realised that dairy couldn't fix this heartbreak
when it started aching again after lunch.

it is no longer about boys.
i learnt my lesson quick although not
passing the exams because i don't
need to answer questions that shook
my principles that made me reminisce
to believe.
it is bad to believe that no sensible
human would try to pick up
the little pieces of my anatomy and hugs
tight to glue it together again
only to find it crushed into microchips.
disclaimer:
this is a general statement.

is this a mental illness
when i see a sea of love approching
my toes but when i run towards the waves,
i can't see a puddle left unless i take
10 steps back?

i don't think that any doctor
or medicine can heal me
from this illusion.